For some reason, writing this post is most uncomfortable for me. Maybe because I am not going to give you any secret recipe, nor a diet or exercise that has supported me like a wonder, I am simply going to share what really helped me.
Our weight is one of the things that usually worry us most in life, some might be wanting to gain weight and others about losing it, but we tend to focus a lot on feeling comfortable with our body and many times we don't do it for the right reasons.
For me, it was a topic that started just when I was in my early teens. My body began to change little by little and as a consequence I began to gain weight little by little and the usual conversations in the family about my body began. "You're gaining weight" "You don't fit in those pants anymore huh..." "what's happening? why are you gaining weight?"
As children these comments are not very relevant to us, but when you start to be interested in someone liking you, in paying attention to what you see in magazines and social media or when you care what others think; those comments are not so irrelevant anymore and we start to have these ideas that if we're not on the beauty standards, then we are worthless.
I was one of those people who fell into this vice of seeking acceptance from others through my weight. I spent years trying to get back to a normal weight, where people stopped giving opinions about it and where I could feel comfortable and not hating myself. On some occasions I managed to lose a few pounds but few weeks or months would pass and I would gain them again or gain even more. There were also times when I felt so bad about my body that I started having eating disorders, feeling very guilty about eating a piece of bread or sipping a sugary drink. I also got to the point of counting the calories of each food that I put in my mouth and writing it in a food journal.
When I went to study to another country; my health was in tatters because all I was eating was processed and canned food and the worst part of all: at midnight we would leave campus to go buy pizzas because we were hungry. And that's how in all those years I gained approximately 33 pounds, maybe you think that it was not much, maybe yes. But they were enough for me to have an anxiety of eating anything.
At the end of 2014, I returned home from abroad and I set my sights on just one thing for the following year. Be a healthy woman. I prepared everything two weeks before New Year's Eve and I told myself that this was a gift from me to me. What happened?
Food
The first thing I did before anything else was read books. Not to lose weight, but to understand how the human body works. I understood why it is important to consume protein, calories and that carbohydrates are not the enemy. I learned about vitamins, minerals and what omega is. I learned to read Nutrition Facts on the food I bought.
I started eating and realized that there were foods that made me feel terrible, others very good and others neither good nor bad. I noticed that very large portions made me very uncomfortable, so I changed them for portions that made me feel good and I also understood the importance of drinking water. This is how I began to understand my own body and months later I discovered that I had dairy and gluten allergies.
A grateful journal
I changed my calorie journal to a diary where I could be thankful for having food and everything I have in my life. The journal was constantly reminding me that it didn't matter if tomorrow I lost or not pounds, but forming the habit, continuing to have love for myself even when my body didn't look the way I wanted it. Because in the end I was healthy. It was a difficult process, because there were many times where I came across mental monsters who tried to deceive me with negative energy, but keeping my journal and remembering every day that I am alive and that I have everything to change my life, was what helped me fight against those monsters.
Exercise
The exercise part is a bit simpler than many people think. Any type of exercise works for your body, yes, there are exercises that help to lose fat and others that help to increase muscle and at the time, all activities related to cardio and also exercises with my own body weight helped me a lot. my exercise with a little yoga or pilates to be relaxed.
Law of attraction and meditation
The law of attraction also became my best friend at this stage. On one occasion I read that by drawing the body you wanted and putting that drawing in a place that you were constantly seeing, could work. So I decided to draw my ideal body and put it in all the places that I could imagine, purse, backpacks, bags, bathroom and also saying affirmations, and it worked. While the meditations were one of the most important things in my process. Sometimes I would meditate up to five times a day for different things. Sometimes I did acceptance meditations, others to lose weight, other times to stay motivated, and others for the following reason:
Emotional wounds
Many times we believe that the reason for gaining weight is because we are eating poorly, under stress or that we are not exercising. However, there are times when there are emotional scars that aren't yet healed and gaining weight is just a way to protect ourselves from people so that they don't hurt us again, or protect ourselves in case something similar happens again. And in my case it was like that...
For a whole year I dedicated to take care of myself and educate my mind and body. The beginning was difficult, because I expected to see results very quickly and I was desperate to find none. It took me a while to realize that every challenge begins as when you are a newborn; first you need to crawl, then walk and then run.
I was empathic with myself, I respected and loved me instead of judging and hating myself for being overweight and if I'm honest, even when I already lose 33 pounds that never rebounded, it's difficult for me to accept my body. Because that's the human mind. Both for the positive and negative. Once we finish with a goal, we want something more or once we start a vice, we want more and more. But I understood that it was up to me to accept and love myself as I am.
I still have moments when I see myself in the mirror and think a thousand horrible things, there are still times when I sit and see belly fat that has never disappeared and say "how horrible!", And there are still comments from my family, only now they are the opposite "why don't you eat?" "you're going to disappear" "you're going to get sick". But still, most days, I wake up and see that I have the body that I always wanted to have and that it's perfect. I can stay thinking negative things or I can stop and be thankful that I am healthy and alive and continue learning and working on myself.
So I'm not giving you any advice, rules, or rigorous steps that everyone should follow. I am giving you the choice of being able to educate your body and mind so that tomorrow you not only have the body that you have always wanted to have but that you wake up happy and grateful in mind, body and soul.
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