Kicking off a goal or objective is one of the things that we think is easy until we run into a challenge and things get tough, we lose motivation and give it up, leaving it behind. Repeating this over and over again because no one teaches us the correct formula.
There is a formula within marketing that all companies use, I don't know one that doesn't do it and the truth is that in a certain aspect, it is very very effective. It consists of making us believe that by having what they offer us -whether it is a product or a lifestyle- we will feel like we've never felt before. And when we do this, when we buy what we thought so much would make us feel incredible; we get surprised when we realize that in reality it is the opposite or that nothing has changed.
You see, when we have goals in mind, we are very clear about how we want to see ourselves by achieving them. For a short time we get excited and feel inspired, strong, invincible! We believe in ourselves. Suddenly there comes that moment in which we start to stumble over the "how." The road begins to have many obstacles, there are small failures and doubts begin as to whether or not it was worth even starting this dream... and boom! Everything falls to the ground. That motivation that felt vivid disappears overnight, strength and invincibility turn into doubt and apathy. Excuses, fear begin and it seems that even if we do everything that the manual said, the expected success is not obtained. Why?
This is because we tend to skip a very important step: mental and emotional work and perseverance.
Many times we are so focused on what we should do outside of ourselves. "I have to go buy blah." "I must invest in blah." "I need to spend on blah." And yes, doing is a very important part of meeting our goals, we don't have a magic wand to do the work for us, but sometimes what's inside us is not fully prepared to carry out the other steps.
Mental / emotional work
Responsibility, being committed, consistency, value, trusting ourselves and other, etc. They are steps that we skip almost all the time, when in reality they are the foundation of absolutely every purpose we have in our lives. A love relationship, friends, professional career, losing weight, gaining weight, having a family, etc. Everything you can imagine grows and becomes reality when we first work on what is within us.
If you as a reader have trust problems both in yourself and in others and you need someone to invest in your business, what do you think will be the first step? Perhaps you think that it's to get that person, but in reality working on that lack of confidence will allow you not only to obtain that investor but it will open opportunities for you in many other things in your life that perhaps you hadn't realized were linked to this same issue. It may be that by working the lack of confidence, you also begin to distinguish who is your friend and who is not, you may find that life partner that you were looking for so much or maybe you can already give yourself the permission to lose weight without thinking that you have to do thousands of hours of exercise that you didn't even have because you were looking for an investor.
Mental / emotional constancy
Sometimes we understand very well the internal work, but it is very easy for us to take for granted that by working once on it... poof! It will disappear from our lives and we will never have to deal with it again. When it really takes time, effort and dedication. Knowing ourselves and healing the painful reality the past created, is not something that we learn to do overnight. It's just as when we fail in doing, we will also fail in being... a lot more than you may think, because in the end we're not perfect.
And if tomorrow you achieve all your goals and stop maintaining your foundations (your beliefs and your personality), there is a great possibility that your building of accomplished purposes will collapse. It is important to be consistent no matter if you're feeling already good or not.
I have often come across people who- even with a great achievement- still feel alone, empty, and the desire of obtaining what they wanted, is lost. Even I have sometimes come to feel it and it is because we forget that the most important thing is to feel good about ourselves. No house, work, fame, money, relationship is going to make us feel that well-being that we seek in the long term. The key is within us and the more focused we are on Doing = Having, the further we are from that fullness. I am not saying that it is easy to carry it out, however the correct formula is and will always be: