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How to find your love language

When they say "love language" you possibly link it to love relationships, but this topic goes beyond just our love with your couple. The first time I heard someone talk about this topic was when I was working in the coaching company, one of the coaches recommended a book called "The 5 Love Languages" written by Gary Chapman, where he writes five ways in which we can give and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Chapman says that finding your language can help you have better communication and understanding, mainly with your partner, because we have a specific way of giving love and receiving it. It also makes it very clear to us that we all have a different language and that's why it is important to recognize yours. In my case, my love language would be quality time. For me there is nothing better than being able to have the attention of my favorite person without distractions, and telling my partner can give him greater clarity on how to make me feel loved, just as I can also know his love language and know how I can make him feel supported.

Now, you can look up the languages ​​on your own, take quizzes or read Chapman's book, but I'll leave you a description of each language here anyway:

Words of affirmation

People whose language is this, communicate through kind words. It implies flattery, compliments, praise, etc. Any word that encourages and produces positivity in others. People feel loved when you speak sweetly to them and let them know how important they are. Words, messages, letters, etc.

My mother is one of those people who can be having a very bad time when she is not recognized and I don't mean it in a bad way. The truth is that from all my family members, she was the one that cost me the most to identify her language because I felt that she had a little bit of everything. However, after paying close attention, I realized that what she likes most is to inspire and be inspired through words. It can be the shortest message but full of compliments and that can make her very happy and fulfilled throughout her day.

Quality time

This is the love where the person giving it gives you their full attention without allowing an interruption. This attention can be seen in full and deep conversations in an individual environment, creating unique and special moments, leaving behind electronic devices and giving 100% priority to the person. The person who receives this type of language feels especially loved and encouraged when connecting with others at the time of being prioritized.

Just like me, my brother is one of the people whose love language would be this. Without a doubt, he always seeks to be the most attentive and give the quality that's needed with whomever he is. He may have 100 missed calls on his cell phone but as long as he prioritizes the person, nothing else matters. In the same way when you listen to him and give him attention, you can quickly see a smile from ear to ear in him.

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Those who have this language, whether giving or receiving it, appreciate the thought and effort that goes into gifts. Gifts are the representation of love and affection.

It should be emphasized that people who have this language of love are not people who expect large or expensive gifts, because what they value is the meaning behind the action, it's not just giving a gift and with that you make them feel loved. Rather, the reason they feel loved is when others take the time to find or give the "perfect" gift and show their love by giving special gifts to others.

My sister is special in giving gifts and when you give her gifts, she becomes the happiest and most attentive woman I know. It only takes a small thing like cooking her favorite dinner after a long day so that she feels the most loved in the universe.

Acts of service

People with this language enjoy a lot when others do everyday and useful things for them. They feel loved when others take a few minutes out of their day to do small favors for them like a cup of coffee, breakfast, when the person offers to do some task that they cannot do at the moment or when they are too exhausted to do it . It is the language that makes it clear that "actions speak louder than words."

My dad would be the winner of this language, I remember on one occasion it was very late and I was full with work stuff, to the point where I couldn't even eat, he was going to sleep but when he saw me full of frustration, he took a few minutes to make me some food and leave it on my desk. In the same way, he likes it a lot when he is busy or cannot do something and you support him by doing it.

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Physical touch

The language of physical contact has to do with hugs, touch, being physically close to people with whom they feel comfortable and trust. In short, every act of affection comforts their hearts. Taking them by the hand, kissing them, hugging them, are very well received by them. They enjoy the exchange of intimacy and familiarity.

My niece with whom I share a strong bond is part of those with this language, her way of expressing and asking for love is always with affection. You can make her very happy by giving her a hug that lasts all day, she caresses you and asks you to give her kisses on the cheeks just as she gives them too. She makes me very tender and I love being affectionate with her.

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These are the five languages ​​of love, here is the link to the official page about the book, there you can find all the quizzes you want, including the quiz to identify your love language, what language do you think is yours?

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